If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
