Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
