I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize