I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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