Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
