So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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