i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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