Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(516): View more from New York

the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(757): View more from Virginia

sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk

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(619): View more from California

I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

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(210): View more from Texas

Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.

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