I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
