Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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