I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
