the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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