I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
