According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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