Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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