dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
