I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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