She is in my trunk
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
