thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
