I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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