1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize