i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
