Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
