your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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