i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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