okay pat passed out under dana's car
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize