nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize