Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
