Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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