Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
