I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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