can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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