I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
