i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize