Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
