i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
