thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
