your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
