Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
