Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
