just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
