i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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