dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
