i permit you to call me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
