Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
