my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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