oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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