you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
