dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
