If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
