How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
