You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
