i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so explain again why im purple
no
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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