You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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