It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think my moral compass just broke
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
