were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
