she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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