who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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