On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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