just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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