What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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