If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
