and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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