Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
