I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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