took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
