He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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