I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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